I really fucked it up this time, didn’t I my dear?

I’ve met one person from this site and couldn’t believe how lucky I was to meet such an awesome guy on my first time on OkCupid.

The first meet up went well. After several days of messages and texts, we decided to watch a movie then have dinner, and then we ended up just chatting next to a giant fire bowl on the cold winter night. His profile said he was good at smiling. It was true.

I had a little trouble reading him and couldn’t tell if he was into me but the fact that he invited me over for beer and movie night gave me a faint glimmer of hope. However, that’s where it all went to shit.

We ended up getting drunk and making out. Nothing else happened but he woke up with a large bite mark that looked like a zombie infection which peeked out a little above his shirt collar. I’m not a violent drunk or anything, I’m just an aggressive kisser. I’ve bitten people before but I’ve never left a mark. I don’t know what the hell happened that night. Maybe it was all the beer but that was mistake #1.

That same morning we went out and drove an hour to a sushi buffet as we had planned. He insisted on driving and for some dumb reason, I let him drive AND pay for lunch. Mistake #2. When we got back, we fell into a food coma and took a nap on his couch. Then when we woke up we watched some TV. I probably should have left right after we got back from sushi instead of having him have to entertain me for an extra few hours. Mistake #3.

Maybe he just realized I’m not all that smart and lost interest. Or maybe the bite mark scared the shit out of him because he thought I’m abusive. Whatever it was, I guess I’ll never know. But I do know one thing. This second meet up was all too much too soon, especially considering we both wanted to take it really slow. A drunken sleepover (even if we agree to sleep in separate rooms) is all too much on a second date. I had this idea of the perfect two-day date in my head, none of which included drunkenness and biting. I knew that so many things could have gone wrong but I wanted that perfect weekend. I guess I’m too much of a risk-taker. I’m a firm believer of taking the risks if you really want something. After all, fortune favors the brave. However, I think in this case, I just fucked it up. Don’t get drunk until after a few more dates.

bromance 2.0

Buddy please,
there’s no need to apologize.
It’s just a bloody nose, it’s no big deal.
We’ve done way worse things before.

Remember that game,
Where I hit you in the face with the football?
We spent half an hour on our hands and knees
Searching for your tooth that I inadvertently knocked out.
I never even apologized about it,
I laughed hysterically instead.
‘Cause you were making goofy, gapped grins
as we rushed you to the orthodontist.

At least this time, it’s only a bloody nose.
Nothing lost or broken.
While those chicks were cheering us on from the couch
As we wrestled around in an attempt to catch their attention.
And for the record, I did win that round.
‘Cause they shrieked excitedly as I pinned you down
Despite your cheap attempts at fishhooking as a distraction.

Then, with toilet paper jammed up my nose,
We cool off out on the lawn,
with a fresh breath of smoke
and talk for hours about sports and our cars.

Tomorrow you’ll probably call me to crash another party.
Where I’ll have to back you up when you’re feeling kind of rowdy.
I always warn you not to hit on the chicks
who already have a man.

But it’s cool ‘cause I owe you for all those times
You’ve bailed me out of a jam
when I start drunken fights over cards.
And all those times I blacked out
Then wake up on your couch and see
A half drunken glass of water
And a blanket.

Though I’m content going downtown hopping bars
And moshing at punk concerts,
It makes me jealous when I see you
Flaunting your hot, new girlfriend.
I suddenly tense up when you’re laughing
With your drunken arm around my shoulder.
I jokingly call you queer
Because I don’t know what else I should say.

It’s because I’m jealous.
But not of you,
I’m jealous of her.
But I’ll let you keep thinking it’s the former.

more than just a buddy..

I went to a party over the weekend where I hung out with this girl’s boyfriend. We were both designated drivers so we just talked about video games, work, and the last party we were both at. He also showed me his favorite apps on his iPhone, let me play some games on it, and started taking pics of me on “fatbooth.” He’s a really cool guy and I love running into him at parties. I usually find myself wondering, “why can’t I meet a guy like this?”

I’m sure some of you have seen my other CL ad – which by the way, thanks to everyone who responded. I received a lot of great emails but not quite the one I was looking for.

I’m mature, emotionally open, and want to meet someone with whom I have a romantic bond. However, that doesn’t mean I’m looking for someone who will buy me flowers and open doors for me. I want to meet someone who is more like a best buddy whom I can depend on, as well as play jokes on. Someone I can play video games and rough house with. I’m not simply talking about a friend-with-benefits or a fuck buddy though. The romantic feelings are there and we enjoy each other’s company but we display it differently.

The best responses I received for my last ad were from older men but unfortunately, I’d like to meet someone around my age (24-32) for now. My last relationship was with someone eight years older and it didn’t work out because we were in different phases in our lives. I’m 26 years old, 5’9″, 155lbs. Into rock, punk, and grunge music. Like satirical novels, action movies, and survival horrors. I have several piercings but clean up very nicely (I look badass in a tie). It would be nice to meet another masculine guy. I don’t care if you’re out or not as long as you can fit in anywhere. I’d eventually like to integrate you within my group of friends and family.

You’ve seen my pic so I’d appreciate seeing some of yours. I also have some normal, non-Halloween pics I can show you.
And if you’re wondering, yes – that’s him next to me being stupid with my wig. But that’s okay because I rubbed my sweaty armpit on his shoulder.

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raw end of the deal

I’m butch and kind of dumb.
I’m not all that articulate,
And I definitely don’t have the gay wit or charm.
I can’t dance and I’m not creative.
So it’s a little odd being gay,
Because I didn’t receive any of the benefits.

I have a funny story…

Okay, so I had a job interview today.

I lost a few piercings so I went to the mall looking for replacements.  Piercing Pagoda didn’t have any.  Neither did Hot Topic.  So I went into Spencer’s and as I was walking in, I seen a help wanted ad.  My first thought was “oh hell no!”  So anyway, they must’ve been pretty desperate because as I was paying, the cashier asked me if I had a job and again, I thought “hell no.” Then she asked if I was looking for a job.  I said no and lied saying that I might be moving and then left.

As I walked out of the store, I thought, you know what, this might not be that bad.  It’s better than nothing considering no one’s hiring right now.  So I go back in and ask if they’re looking for something long term because I supposedly might be moving in the summer.  Anyway, I walked out with an application.  I turned it in the same day and the manager called me after an hour.  We set up an interview for a few hours later.

So I go back for the interview and completely fuck it up.  I had to stay consistent with my lie and explain that it might be short term.  The store manager didn’t like that.  And my excuse was that I’m waiting to hear back from a job I’m a contender in, a job in parking enforcement with the Sausalito police department (I really did apply though).  On top of that, I mentioned that I do volunteer work with the Newark police department.  She didn’t seem impressed with any of these and I later realized that duh..she’s black and looks like a big old pothead.  She looks like a female Bob Marley with her big curly hair.  It’s a no brainer not to mention being associated with cops when dealing with these people.  I mean I’m half joking but I think in this case, it might actually be true.

Sure, this is a lesson about lying but I also think that part of this experience is a spiritual ass-kicking.  Last night I prayed to God and told Him I was no longer mad at Him about the FMC/Jennifer thing and then today He presented me with a peace offering in the form of a job.  And then I hella snobbed and laughed at it so He took it right back.  At first I thought, “Spencer’s?  Yeah fucking right.  That’s something I don’t want on my resume.”  Then when I was starting to get all excited about working somewhere where I can be punk again, turns out that Spencer’s is the one that doesn’t want me lol.

So yeah, this experience taught me not to take things for granted or think I’m above anything ’cause I’m not.  Teaches me to just shut the fuck up.

i thought we were making progress? what happened to normal? feb-7-2010

Since I’ve been single for almost four years now, I figured that I should put myself out there and ended up going to a gay club tonight.

As I was walking through the crowd, the back of my head was suddenly felt up by some guy. And it wasn’t just someone’s hand brushing against the back of my head, he really worked his fingers into my hair for a good 10-15 seconds. When I turned around, I saw that he was smiling at me. Even though I was disgusted, I wasn’t about to pick a fight over it in a crowded club (plus, I was too surprised to do anything) so I just gave him a WTF look. The funny thing is, the guy would’ve been pretty hot if it weren’t for his perverted gay arrogance. It’s people like him that give credibility to the stereotypes.

Personally, I do my part to be respected by society on the same level as any straight male would be. And frankly, I do a good job of it. My friends, even my gay/lesbian friends, don’t think of me as being gay. I’m not in the closet, I don’t hide the fact that I’m gay, but I definitely don’t flaunt it either and use it to make other people uncomfortable. So what happened to the other normal gay guys? I thought that we were making progress?

I ideally want to meet another normal, masculine guy around my age (preferably 23-30). I’m a 25 year old, Asian American, 5’9″, 160lbs., college graduate. And yes, I’m the one who posted the ad about my trip in Vegas. I appreciated all the responses and apologize to those I didn’t respond to. A lot of the responses didn’t seem to read the whole ad and left out vital information or didn’t send a face pic. Other responses just didn’t seem like a good match. However, if you feel like I’ve misinterpreted your response, please send me another, I’d be glad to hear from you again.

Anyway, I hope this ad doesn’t offend anyone. While I also hope to meet someone interesting, I brought up this topic to make people think of what they contribute to society. So thanks for reading.

dating again after a four year hiatus – jan 21, 2010

I just went on a trip to Vegas with eight people. Four couples. I was the only single one in the group so in a penthouse with four bedrooms, I slept on a couch.

This made me realize that I’ve been single for almost four years now. That’s a long time, especially in gay years where a six month relationship is basically considered long term. It’s not that I’m jaded or anything. Things with my ex ended on a good note, I even visited him overseas last month. It ended because I wanted to better myself and, him being eight years older than I am, he understood that. So no, that doesn’t mean I slept around for four years. In fact, I think I’ve become a virgin again.

I’ve never really had good luck on the Internet, especially lately, so this will probably be one of the last few times I try this. While a relationship would be ideal, I’m not looking to jump right into one. I just want to meet another interesting, masculine guy around my age and let things develop on its own. I’m 25 years old, Asian American, 5’9″, 160lbs., and a college graduate. I’m not gorgeous but not hideous. In fact, I’ll balls up and post a pic just to filter out the superficial responses – so please send your pic in your first response because I don’t know how interested I’ll be in a guy who is too chickenshit to email me his pic. And hey, just because I posted a pic on craigslist, doesn’t mean I broadcast my sexuality. I’m very masculine and am very private about my personal life, however, I do live by the idea that fortune favors the brave so I know that without taking these risks, you gain nothing.

(Apparently craigslist distorts pics to a point beyond recognition. This pic should at least give you an idea of what I look like but if you’re too hung up on looks and aren’t interested, then neither am I. Thanks.)

have i been single for too long? jan-21-2001

I just went on a trip to Vegas with four couples. I was the only single one in the group. So in a penthouse with four bedrooms, I slept on a couch. So this prompts a certain question – have I been single for too long?

I’m a 25 year old fag and it seems like all my friends, gay and straight, have suddenly left me in the dust. My closest buddy used to whore around and has dated several girls (sometimes concurrently) but suddenly decided to elope with his girlfriend. My lesbian friend who used to be emo about how she’s single has been dating a girl for a year now. I even befriended a gay guy who just broke up with his husband but is already dating another guy. Is there something wrong with me?

I’ve been single for almost four years now. I’m not jaded or anything. My last relationship ended well and I even visited him overseas earlier this month. I briefly dated a coke addict for two weeks last year but hey, he was a coke addict. So it’s not that I’m picky. Should I just set my standards lower and date < coke addicts? Fuck that, I’d rather continue to be single. Though I wouldn’t wish it on other people, I’d feel better just knowing that there are other good looking college graduates out there who are having just as rotten luck as I’ve had. Could this just be bad luck or is there something wrong?

Prisoner

After years of waiting for news about The Prisoner remake mini-series, it finally crept up on me.

For those of you who don’t know the premise, The Prisoner follows a man simply known as Number Six who tries to escape a mysterious place called the Village where they lock up resigned secret agents in order to keep information classified.

I was a little disappointed that the first episode strays too far from the original. The appointed Number Two isn’t constantly changing, they seem to care less about why Number Six resigned, the town seems less like a conspiracy and more like a normal town. Furthermore, the remake tries to cram in too much information in a haphazard manner. Too many awkward flashbacks and the resignation scene/intro is so dramaticized that it’s kinda retarded.

However, despite the flaws of the first episode, the next few episodes get progressively good..until the end where the message of the show was lost. I was pleasantly surprised by the remake’s strong emphasis on the idea of questioning norms and fighting the system.  The remake also touches upon a lot of issues the original never did – such as faith, doubt, family, love, and even homosexuality – but it also took away all the mystery from the allegorical show. On top of that, the finale went all Stephen King on the series.  I hate Stephen King’s work.  I hate shows/movies that start out almost normal but end with some kind of phenomenon that’s supposed to explain everything.  As mentioned, the remake’s Village became less of a conspiracy and more of a supernatural phenomenon that leaves more questions than answers.

While I think they made the right choice to cast Jim Caviezel as Number Six, I’m a little disappointed by their choice of location for the Village. The resort town Portmeirion with its postmodern architecture gave a mysterious and surreal feel to the original series but the remake’s Swakopmund looks just like a regular town.  It does pay homage to the original but it wasn’t really consistent.  After all, why would a village where all citizens are brainwashed to be nearly perfect even allow a kinky strip club to be established?  I don’t know.

Perhaps remakes are simply cursed to never live up to the originals but I did enjoy most of the episodes – particularly 2, 3, and 5.  I would have been satisfied if it didn’t end like a Stephen King movie but I still enjoyed the mini-series nonetheless.